I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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