I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
