I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
