we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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