But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
