I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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