She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
