Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
