I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
