I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
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All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
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When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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