On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
