Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize