Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
