so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
