I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
