I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
