i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
