So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
