Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
