By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
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She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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