well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
