she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
