He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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