$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
