Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
