yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize