I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
