She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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