eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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