I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We got so high we made milksteak
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
