What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
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You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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