thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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