i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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