i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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