Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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