And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
