He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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