Sry I called you an 8
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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