We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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