Sponge bath it is.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
