Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Randomize
