Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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