"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
