I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
