What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
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I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
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i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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