dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
