So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
