Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize