He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
