a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
