I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
