Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
