I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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