she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
