Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
