My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
