Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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