Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize