Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you win again, gameday.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
