$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
